6am: Good morning! I am ready to start the day, where is my slave?? I think she has forgotten that I am still here... Wahhhhhhhhh!
Oh good here she is, winning!!! I have no idea why she looks so tired, seems to me like she’s bunging it on a bit. Uh oh, she’s rubbing my head trying to get me back to sleep but it’s a battle of the wills. On second thoughts, it does feel so good, I might just have another doze…..
6.10am: Haha just kidding!!! I want milk right NOW!!!!! Give me, give me, give me.
6.30am: Ahhhhh all is good in the world again. Oh hang on a second, something is brewing…the slave notices me wriggling and thinks this is a good time to change the huge paper thing she keeps putting on my bottom. Excellent, this is another perfect time to show who’s boss! Wait for it, wait for it.... YASSSS, I’m so proud, I painted the wall AND my change mat, bullseye!!!
7.00am: Slave looks a bit cranky, I think she needs that brown drink she has each day. It seems to make her happier. She drinks it hot but I think it might taste a bit better cold, perhaps we should try that today. I throw out a few smiles to distract her for a bit, then she can try the drink cold and see if she likes it better. I like helping my slave.
8.00am: So tired, where is my head rub?
9.00am: Milk NOW, Milk NOW, Milk NOW!!!
9.30am: Oh damn, I’m in that scary moving seat again. These things with 5 tendrils attached keep hitting me in the face, not impressed. Slave wants more smiles but my friend taught me “treat em’ mean to keep em’ keen” so I’m going to withhold the smiles for now. Poor slave keeps trying so hard, pulling all weird faces and stuff. She looks sad but she’ll try harder next time.
10.00am: Milk NOW, Milk NOW, Milk NOW!!! Slave looks confused, she thinks it’s too soon but I am STARVING!!!!
10.10am: Definitely drank too much. Uh oh, here it comes back up again, good practice for 18 years time I guess. Woop woop new clothes!!!!
10.30am: I am exhausted! Slave is so warm and snuggly, I will just stay here for a while. No, no, no, no, no she is trying to put me in that box all by myself again. That is just not happening, I want to stay snuggled here. Yessss, slave has relented and lets me stay here for a bit… so sleepy…
12.00pm: Ahhhhh I’m so refreshed!!! But hot damn am I starving, Milk NOW, Milk NOW, Milk NOW!!!
12.30pm:I’m ready for my private concert now, slave is learning quite the repertoire of good songs for me, she’s pretty cool sometimes. I really like the one about that egg falling off the fence - stupid egg though, why would it sit there anyway?
1.00pm: Holy dooley there is another baby in the house!!! Who is that thing looking back at me and copying everything I do?? This is the best!!! Slave looks so happy too, smiles and giggles all round – highlight of my day!
1.30pm: I’m so tired but I don’t want to sleep again, things to do and people to see! Yay I feel my second wind coming.
2.00pm:Uh oh its all too much for me, wahhhhhhh! Slave please help me, I’m losing it!! Thank you, thank you – head rub and cuddle all the way.
3.00pm: Sorta hungry, sorta not, not really sure. I’ll give it a go.
3.30pm: Definitely hungry, Milk NOW, Milk NOW, Milk NOW!!!
4.30pm: On the floor again, time for bootcamp. I’m always so motivated at the beginning of my floor class, but gosh I’m flaking at the end, my neck feels like jelly. Slave is cheering me on like she’s at the races and her horse is pulling out in front. Pretty stoked with myself.
5.00pm: What a day!!! So much done, I’m pooped (quite literally). Cuddles please slave, do not put me in the box or chair. Also, Milk NOW, Milk NOW, Milk NOW!!!
6.00pm: Gross, something is dripping down my leg, so disgusting. Milk NOW, Milk NOW, Milk NOW!!!
6.30pm: Woop woop, off to the day spa for my scrub, hair wash, facial, body wrap and massage!!!
7.00pm: Far out it is cold, wahhhhhhhhh!!!! Take me back to my Turkish bath or hurry up with my massage, Slave, not cool!
7.10pm: Milk NOW, Milk NOW, Milk NOW!!!
7.30pm: Yesssss, rocky rocky, snuggle, snuggle and private concert time. Thank you slave, so sleepy.
8.00pm: Holy moley, where am I? I’m in the box cage again wahhhhhh!!!!! Slave, slave, slave??? I’m scared, please come and get me.
Oh good here she is, yay more rocky rocky, snuggle, snuggle. My slave really is the best. I laugh inside when she says “goodnight my love, see you in the morning”. We both know I will see her another 9 times before then. Bye slave, you are my favourite thing in the world, thank you for looking after me and I will see you in 45 minutes.